Midwest Musings Gifts

"I was sleepless once, but it was in Omaha."

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

Pull and all nighter...

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

Big Medium

Propane Supply

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

Minnesota Weather.

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Is that before or after tax?"

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

'I see your future investing in a fortune telling business!'

'If there is an unlimited supply of something....mortality is that it make our time finite....I think I'll poop on this guy's head.'

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

'I keep thinking about teaching.'

"Crap, I hit reply all."

Last Tango in Wisconsin

'I see money. . . I see more money. . . I see a woman.'

'Mystic Ken sees your future in the stars.'

"Tell me more about this inferiority complex."

Record soy bean crop

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Nethead strip: Psycho analyst

Palmist Alarmist - Uh ooooh!

"If your faith is so strong, why did you rush to the E.R. instead of your church?"

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"If she's so good how come she didn't predict this?"

Welcome to Kansas or Some State Very Much Like It

Iowa: the new fragrance

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"I'm somewhere between O. and K."