Midnight Scroller Gifts

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"I'm bored."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Today I'm going to search and scroll and swipe and binge."

Bedside Manna.

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'You're not interrupting anything...the four of us are just sitting around before dinner...Barbara, me and our two phones.'

Are you going to read a book the whole time? That's so rude!

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

'You were up four times last night.'

"I have to get this project finished."

"If I admit I'm bored with looking at my phone every minute of the day, will I be considered a traitor by my generation?"

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

Health Centre/All Night Stress Counselling

Diet Enforcer

Why god isn't listening...

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

"I was admitted to heaven, but they didn't have WIFI."

Al, do you ever go back in time and try to pinpoint moments when you made bad life choices? Actually, after an episode of gastric distress this morning, I journeyed back in time to last night. I pinpointed midnight as the moment, and I pinpointed pizza as a bad life choice.

"Can Ethan come out to swipe and scroll?"

'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'