Screen Scroller Gifts

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

"And this was us just five minutes ago."

Learn How To Ignore Positive Thoughts Keep Scrolling.

I just sneezed. Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Big whoop. I'm not telling you, old bag. I'm typing my activities into a message. Then I hit send and all the followers in the network are updated. I'm being glowered at. I'm about to strike dork. Tap tap ta tap tap tap tap tap.

Are you going to read a book the whole time? That's so rude!

"Mindlessly scrolling through social media hasn't solved any of my problems."

'If you would've checked on the kids as much as you check social media, they probably wouldn't have been incarcerated in the state penitentiary!'

'We're seeing more of this in the touch-pad era: your fingertips need a retread.'

"Why are people so fascinated with sticking their noses in those things?"

Human evolution

"Can Ethan come out to swipe and scroll?"

"I'll be right with you."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm bored."

"Textin’"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

"Today I'm going to search and scroll and swipe and binge."

Free Little Library

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

'You're not interrupting anything...the four of us are just sitting around before dinner...Barbara, me and our two phones.'

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

"If I admit I'm bored with looking at my phone every minute of the day, will I be considered a traitor by my generation?"

"I have to get this project finished."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"