Midnight Munchie Manager Pillows

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Just say no.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Secretive Weigh In.

Full English Breakfast.

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

Cereal Tasting.

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"Nah, dude, I'm Tokey Bear. Smokey's on vacation. Hey you got any snacks?"

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Munch Master.

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'And a one, and a two, and a three, and a four...'

Snacks

"Do you have a strain that pairs well with Chunky Monkey?"

"You asked for runny!"

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

Doomed Food Group

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

"Did you order the, eye of newt and bat's wing topping?"

Naughty Food

"Oh God, look at the colors in that sunset! Pull over, like anywhere...I have the munchies...heh..."

'Oi! - Have you nicked one of my sausages?'

"Sit on her chest and stare at her or knock things off the dresser. How do you wake your owner?"