Midnight Mischief Manager Pillows

'Sure I can guarantee a 3 A.M. wake up call. Take my cat.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Mittens is challenged by the string.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Dogs life

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

Two children play with a pedal bin

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'The part I love is when they come home and say 'WHO did this?. . .'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

Teacher's pet dog

The Tooth Ferret

"Come on boy. Tell Daddy where you buried the leg of lamb."

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."