Midnight Feeder Pillows

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Secretive Weigh In.

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Fido and Fifi

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

Bedside Manna.

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'You were up four times last night.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

A woman breaks a loaf of bread into breadcrumbs for the ducks.

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

Diet Enforcer

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

"Relax! The poor thing is only taking a breather on his way south!"