Midlife Voyagers Gifts

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'In denial and loving it!'

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."