Midlife Introspector T-Shirts

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"I'm the bad guy..."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Where Are They Now?'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."