Midlife Introspector Gifts

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I'm the bad guy..."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"You used to be that ambitious."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Where Are They Now?'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Midlife: You Are Here.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."