Middle Of The Week Pillows

"Every day is hump day to me!"

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Friday 5.30pm.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

'A Fucking Drink'

'People, it's 4:55 Friday...and that means Howie starts the weekend with the drum solo from ‘Wipe Out!''

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

Sometimes God regretted making Fridays so awesome.

"I have to create a few loose ends for other people to clear up."

The week at a glance.

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

Friday, 5.30pm...dreaming of beer.

"This is going to be a two-cupcake Friday."

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Office ready to leave at 5 o'clock.

'It's net weight when they're trying to catch you. After a few years it then becomes gross weight.'

"As a matter of fact, you DID catch me at a bad time."

My new trash pickup day is midweek, on Wednesday. Hump-day dump-day!

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

'No, we do not make change.'

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

Thought for Wednesday

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

To celebrate the middle of the week, employees at Gortney Industries built an actual hump.

The 'Mystery Pain 'game

"It's been a very long week!"

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

"Sigh...I'm getting old."

"No,he's got Thursday night fever, you get everything cheaper midweek.."

It's hard being the middle child.