Middle Of The Week Pillows

"Every day is hump day to me!"

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

Friday 5.30pm.

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

'A Fucking Drink'

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

'People, it's 4:55 Friday...and that means Howie starts the weekend with the drum solo from ‘Wipe Out!''

Sometimes God regretted making Fridays so awesome.

"I have to create a few loose ends for other people to clear up."

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

The week at a glance.

Friday, 5.30pm...dreaming of beer.

"This is going to be a two-cupcake Friday."

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Office ready to leave at 5 o'clock.

'It's net weight when they're trying to catch you. After a few years it then becomes gross weight.'

'No, we do not make change.'

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"As a matter of fact, you DID catch me at a bad time."

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

Thought for Wednesday

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

"Sigh...I'm getting old."

"It's been a very long week!"

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

The 'Mystery Pain 'game

"No,he's got Thursday night fever, you get everything cheaper midweek.."

"Oh well, that's another week done!"