Middle-aged Brother Gifts

How witness protection really works...

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Robot Parts $5

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Good game."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

The Busy Gardener

Computer Room.