Microsoft Fan Gifts

Bill Gates final moment...

Bill Gates on a Donkey.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

The First Fire Stick

"Uptight End"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'God's speed.'

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Archaeologists discover a football

Smile

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Touchdown!'

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Referee cop.

Football Violence

"Go deep!"

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

Red Card - Gold Card.

Sports Medicine.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"No big screen TV to watch football for you. But I do see beer, lots of beer."