Microbiology Nerd Gifts

"You're wasting your time. I'm asexual."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Disease Management

"Tour de Frank"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

Naked Mole Rat

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

DNA Analysis.

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

Gene Therapy

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Footballer and Bacteria.

Protoplasm

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

Cell splitting - don't do that.

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'