Microbe Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't know what this is, but you should see how fast it's growing!'

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

"Ever killed a man?"

"You're right...it is waving back!"

Friendly bacteria

"Don't you remember me? I'm Pete, we met in Mrs Johnson's large intestine."

Scientist to scientist looking in microscope: 'Be careful - they sense fear.'

"Back in Great, Great. . . Grandad's day there was more than enough sunlight for everybody. . ."

'I wish they'd look for a different virus. I'm just too gregarious to be isolated.'

"So much for 'friendly' bacteria."

When single celled organisms play pranks.

"What I really hate is preventive medicine. They go after us before we even do anything."

"Never mind what an amoeba eats - how does an amoeba eat.?"

'This is quite a thrill. I've never been on electron microscope before.'

A-sexual activity will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

'Sorry, but basically, starting a sentence without me annoyingly saying 'basically' - basicaly, is not an option for me.'

One-celled dog.

'Oh-oh -- they're having a big war over which one of us to worship!'

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

"Whatever it is, it's contagious..."

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

Lyme Disease Research Lab

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

"I feel so seen right now."

Louis Pasteur

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

Adios Amoebas

Mushrooms of New York

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Alright! Now I get to have two girlfriends.

Bacteria doing their anaerobic exercises.

God: 'Man has dominion over fish...beasts...and germs have dominion over man.'

"You've heard of that new virus that's been going around? It's me!"