Microbe Mirth Gifts

Comicron

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Disease Management

"Tour de Frank"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

"I'm going to get you fired."

"Garden variety allergies."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Off Duty.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Footballer and Bacteria.

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Catch this!'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

We'll have to reproduce fast to defeat the antibodies! I get it! Divide and conquer!

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'