Mechanical Mirth Gifts

It appears the robots have skipped consciousness and gone straight to self-consciousness.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Garden variety allergies."

Comicron

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Electric Blanket.

Off Duty.

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'I think I found your missing nut.'

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

'You didn't go down with shi-ip! You didn't go down with the shi-ip!'

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

"Your husband's going to pull through, but your differential is shot!"

Car Carriage