Mechanical Mirth Pillows

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Comicron

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Electric Blanket.

Off Duty.

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

'You didn't go down with shi-ip! You didn't go down with the shi-ip!'

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders.

Car Carriage

Unnatural Food-nuts and bolts, sale on junk foods, rusty nuts, bolts, and screws.