Medical Mirth Pillows

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"Garden variety allergies."

'Being a veterinarian, I know you'll understand, Richard..., you've got downer syndrome.

'When he completed his medical history on the new patient form he decided that he was okay.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"And this is one of the nurses who'll be blamed if the surgeon kills your husband."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

Comicron

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Off Duty.

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'The tests indicate you've been exposed to a new idea.'

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'I'll take #1.'

"And then bear left at the war memorial, first right down Newton road and St Luke's is straight ahead."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"