Medical Mirth Lover Pillows

'I've been here so often, they keep a room reserved for me.'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"I feel your pain level."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"