Microbe Fan Gifts

Asexual harassment.

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"I'm going to get you fired."

"This will sting a bit."

"Think about the honey."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

The worm that churned!

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"Ever killed a man?"

Friendly bacteria

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'We are parasites, but I think we also have parasites.'

Louis Pasteur

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

'This is quite a thrill. I've never been on electron microscope before.'

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Adios Amoebas

Scientist to scientist looking in microscope: 'Be careful - they sense fear.'

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

"What I really hate is preventive medicine. They go after us before we even do anything."

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

A Bug's Life Advice

You might want to cut back on the probiotics.

'Jack contracted botrytis cinerea. It hasn't done much for his looks, but his disposition's a lot sweeter.'

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'This underground facility allows us to be closely involved with proton decay, gravity waves, neutrinos and the growing and selling of mushrooms.'