Metaphor Lovers T-Shirts

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"Today we're going to open that dungeon and let those demons out."

'Jones, you're like a $10 million baseball player who is batting .200...'

'The birds and the bees' (American euphemism for sex)

'I thought I was on the gravy train, and then the Wabash Cannon Ball got me!'

"Limbo!"

Reading my Critics

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Out of control

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

A Poem about Sand

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

If poets wrote road signs.

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Dangling Carrots

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."