Lovers Of Metaphors T-Shirts

'Life is like a tin of sardines... we're all of us looking for the key!'

Reading my Critics

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Out of control

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

If poets wrote road signs.

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Dangling Carrots

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

'I had a nest egg once, but I sat on it too long, and ended up with nothing but a frozen asset.'

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

"I think you need to reboot your carrot."

"... And this, gentlemen, is our target for the next six months."