Aphorism Lover T-Shirts

"Sorry, Tom, but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

Reading my Critics

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

"Moulting"

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Scurile travels

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

Out of control

"As Maggie Thatcher once said: 'Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.'"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Rats deserting a sinking ship

'Have you been working out?'