Aphorism Aficionado T-Shirts

A Late Entry for "Poor Richard's Almanac"

In the beginning: Ed thought life was a bowl of cherries...

"Aw... go on! An apple a day keeps the doctor away y'know..!"

Reading my Critics

Punctuation Police

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Why we need poetry. . .

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

With Aristotle, it's either true or false -- He hates it when you say "whatever."

Tonight's Lecture: Eastern Mystical Approaches to Dream Interpretation. Yin-Yang Jung.

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

Auguste Comte

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

If poets wrote road signs.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"