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Reading my Critics

Punctuation Police

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Why we need poetry. . .

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

A Poem about Sand

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

Dip Pen

Prayboy

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Auguste Comte

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."