Metaphor Aficionados Gifts

"I think you need to reboot your carrot."

Reading my Critics

Why we need poetry. . .

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Out of control

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Good news. You know that elephant in the room we never talk about? He's now in the other room."

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

If poets wrote road signs.

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

'So push has come to shove...'

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

Dangling Carrots

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."