Modern Metaphor Lover Gifts

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Reading my Critics

Elfie Stick

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

Out of control

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

If poets wrote road signs.

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

Dangling Carrots

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

"It's the new business model - my ideas have sex with your ideas."

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'