Metalhead Maverick T-Shirts

'Got any heavy metal, squire?'

Motorherd

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

'Have you any W fronts?'

Hairstyles

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Santa Metal Claus

"You fit in. You just don't match."

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

Beard, socks and sandals.

"You again?"

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

'I play heavy metal.'

First Attempts: Wright Brothers. Hair-plane.

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

'Air guitar 101.'

'Miss Smith, your wardrobe is playing havoc with my blood pressure.'

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

The Senior Fashionista

'Innovation is a way of life with him.'

And then, right in the middle of a Warrant/Winger double bill, Rob Myers becomes the first person in history to actually have his socks rocked off.

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.