Mesmerism Pillows

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"This is what I use for social media."

Foot Massage

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"Have you folks eaten here before, or shall I explain the concept?"

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

"Hi. I'm the bluebird of... oh, never mind."

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

Root worker painting a unhappy face on the road.

Singing

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."

…So we finally got women to stare at us…now what?... E. A. N. B. Q. R. T. L.

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

'Jaundice really ought to have wiped the smile off his face.'

'You have to spend money to make money, and Walter just HATES it.'

Sisyphus pushing smiling boulder up hill.

"Sorry, I really don't believe in it...I'm a Scorpio and you know that we're naturally sceptical..."

Mouse Starts Dancing to Snake Charmer on Computer Screen

Repeat after me: 'I will never make a really convincing terrorist until I wipe this stupid grin off my face.'

"When I bought you a wheelbarrow for Christmas I wasn�t expecting to ferry you back from the pub in it!"

'I'm taking you off three things - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.'

"It's $85 an ounce, $95 for unscented."

"This is big..."

Grumpy smiley face salesman.

US army with Twitter missile

"Look who took a selfie."

Hillary Clinton

"Ahhhh! It's great to be back in the city and to breath it's early morning ninety eight per cent carbon monoxide air."

"What's wrong, Joey? You're whistling. You never whistle."

"Typical. Only one bloody window open!"

"Excuse me, sir, but do you suppose I could persuade you to leave that machine for just a moment?"