Secret Smiler Pillows

"What's wrong, Joey? You're whistling. You never whistle."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

'I'm sorry you've seen me, now I'll have to kill you.'

'Will you be my Valentine?'

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

Pete was too shy to tell Jenny how he really felt about her instead he just sent flowers over the internet.

Ski lift.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

The New Age Dentist.

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

"...lettuce pray."

Red Letter Days - 'Farewell my love! ... Since you now love me, there is now nothing which can cloud our happiness! ...'

"Do you suppose Beatriz looks over here and sees a hardworking young man who's maybe a little shy, a little handsome, but who thinks she's totally cool?"

"Great-now everybody at work is going to know."

Private Jet

Someone carries a torch for you!

'I can't keep a secret, either!'

Billy strip: bed pan.

Confession Ratings.

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

Secret Service, sign saying: 'You could be here.'

"Why don't I go brush my teeth."

Root worker painting a unhappy face on the road.

Catching each other's gaze.

Discreet Shipping

Let the good times roll.

CIA, 'Chief, I've got a lead on Victoria's Secret!'

"The smile is courtesy of Photoshop."

"So what's the deal? Why did Cruz call me your girlfriend?"

Listen up, Mort Park. I'm going to reveal a major secret for your news radio show. Do tell. First, you've to promise you won't reveal who I am. I need to be protected. And if I refuse? I wont tell you who whisper whisper whisper … Oh, now that is naughty! To be continued …

'Our satellite has just sent back these startling new images of the sun.'