Merit Badge Collector Gifts

'To stress heterosexual, we now get a merit badge for getting laid!'

'How many merit badges do you have?'

"Well, okay. I think I'll go ask the other instructors just in case!"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Military Medals

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Cat Show

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

Jungle Games

Happy Champion

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'This one is for not hinting in T.V. interviews that Burma's pacifists should be send WMPs.'

Bradley Wiggins

Canadians celebrate first Olympic gold medal.