Merger Humor Fan Gifts

'Thanks to the recent merger, I'm here to deliver your pizza, clip your dog, and sell you insurance!'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

10 K Tail-Chase

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

No, I don

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

tRUMp, Pirate President

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Take me to your market leader.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'To satisfy our stockholders, we'll draw stars to see which of us will be hung in effigy.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'