Merger Humor Fan Gifts

'Thanks to the recent merger, I'm here to deliver your pizza, clip your dog, and sell you insurance!'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

The Brothers Grime

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

Take me to your market leader.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'To satisfy our stockholders, we'll draw stars to see which of us will be hung in effigy.'