Menu Mix-up Mavens Gifts

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Kitchen Kapers

Party time.

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'How is the water prepared?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

I'm sorry, Miss. I can't involve the bouncer just to "teach somebody a lesson." Menu.

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"And tonight we’re offering 5-1 odds on a kitchen strike."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

'You still have breakfast and lunch on your dinner menu.'

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

'I've been a model, a film star, a soap star, a dress designer... next I'm going to write a children's book and after that...'

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

Hey, those are not menus!

Le Bolshie Chef.

"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"