Menu Mix-up Mavens Gifts

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

Kitchen Kapers

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Party time.

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"And tonight we’re offering 5-1 odds on a kitchen strike."

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'You still have breakfast and lunch on your dinner menu.'

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

'I've been a model, a film star, a soap star, a dress designer... next I'm going to write a children's book and after that...'

Le Bolshie Chef.

"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"

"Tonight, the part of the sea bass will be played by the chicken."