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'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You owe me five bucks."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Stepping on clown's shoe...

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'He's all eyes!'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'Purpose of visit?'

Middle Age Spread.

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"Just how rare is this steak..."

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Never poke fun.

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

'Hoopla!'

"Work's been really hard."

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'