Dinner Jester T-Shirts

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"You owe me five bucks."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Husband bakes a pie

"Gigot de sept heures."

'He's all eyes!'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"More helium."

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

I'll try the cod surprise.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

Spaghetti Mummy

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"Just how rare is this steak..."

Middle Age Spread.

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

'Hoopla!'

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

Your Dinner is in the Tin

Ernie's the person who put the "quiz" in cuisine.

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'