Breakfast Jester T-Shirts

A mouse pops out of a toaster

Egg Scare - You're trying to kill me, aren't you?

"I like the plastic toy, but not the cereal. Daddy can eat that."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"You owe me five bucks."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Husband bakes a pie

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Gigot de sept heures."

'He's all eyes!'

'Do you want toast with that?'

"More helium."

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

Devilled Eggs

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

Middle Age Spread.

'Purpose of visit?'

Spaghetti Mummy

"Just how rare is this steak..."

"You confused the Sudso box with the Cruncho box."

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough