Breakfast Jokester T-Shirts

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Onion operation.

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

Sometimes the 'Staggers-in-at-4 AM Bird' beats the Early Bird to the worm.

'Nice Touch!'

Chez Homework

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'I'll have a BLT.' 'ASAP or PDQ?'

"I think it's the spoon you want, I'm a confirmed spatula."

Headless Chicken picking out chief in a line up

"You asked for the soup of the day, you didn't specify what day."

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'

"Your husband's pot roast is heavenly. It takes an eternity to chew it."