Menu Curators Gifts

The menu looks good!

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is the MSG local?"

Fast Food Menu Selections

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

National Coffee Day

"....and hold the garlic."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

The Seafood House. Comic Waiters. The Seafood House now has comedians for waiters. Fish and quips!

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"