Menu Aficionado T-Shirts

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Two vegans, please."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"....and hold the garlic."