Culinary Affectionado T-Shirts

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"Uh-oh - climate change."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"....and hold the garlic."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Choice hellhole

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'How was the squid?'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

Long Corkscrew