Mental Health Jokesters Gifts

"The generic name is, 'And They All Lived Happily Ever After.' It's a hallucinogen."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Virtual Doctor

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Psychobabbling brook.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Psychobabble.

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Fakir Shrink.

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."