Mental Health Satire Gifts

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

How To Make A Pigs Ear Out Of Swine Flu.

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Psychobabble.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Can you fit him with remote control facilities, doctor"

Fakir Shrink.

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

'What can you give me for my liver?' 'A pound of onions!'

12 step program

Shrink's Summer Job

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"