Mental Health Satirist Gifts

Psychiatrist doing sudoku puzzles.

'The real me is for lawlessness and disorder.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Virtual Doctor

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

'There is a drug for Hypochondria... but the side-effects may actually make you sick!'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

Take a pill so you won't be one.

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."