Memory Decline Gifts

I can't remember the last time I had to memorize something

Historical memory is on life support.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"I don't know who you are!"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I cross the road to forget."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

Origins of a family tradition.

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

Remember when?... When was that?

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

Study more to pass more tests.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

Amnesia Support Group: Meeting Today!

'Remember Sarah Palin? Remember Joe The Plumber? Remember sex?'

"My memory's not too good these days."

I used to have nightmares about forgetting my locker combination. In their nightmares, they forget passwords!

'Did I put the recycling out?'

"Now that you mention it, I think that I too may have a Master's in Education."

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Did you ever wonder where your phone is while you're looking at it?"