Memory Decline Gifts

Historical memory is on life support.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"I don't know who you are!"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I cross the road to forget."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

Origins of a family tradition.

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

Study more to pass more tests.

Remember when?... When was that?

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

Amnesia Support Group: Meeting Today!

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

'Remember Sarah Palin? Remember Joe The Plumber? Remember sex?'

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

'Did I put the recycling out?'

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

"My memory's not too good these days."

"Now that you mention it, I think that I too may have a Master's in Education."

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Did you ever wonder where your phone is while you're looking at it?"

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'