Melody Mechanic T-Shirts

Tune Up Shop.

'Okay, now try it in the gear of 'D'.'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Guitarist

Marimba

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Piano Recital

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Cycling with a harp case

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Music downloads

Artist and Musician

Musical notes bubble gum.

Guitar Man.

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

New music conference

Eric Clapton.

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

Six jazz instruments.

Noel Coward.

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

A woman playing a keyboard

Caught in the Music

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

May your Christmas be full of harmony

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Check out this new store."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

French horn.

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."