Meeting Tactician T-Shirts

The not-so-fine art of changing the subject.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

US and the EU

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Takeovers.

Genius

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

"That was a rumor day."

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."