Conversation Tactician T-Shirts

"Totally naked except for my socks. How 'bout yourself?"

Stalemate

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"That was a rumor day."

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

The Use of Cavalry

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Kosovo.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"If you can't beat them, sir, perhaps you should consider colluding with them."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

Today's alpha-lesson is called "Always Jujutsu the Suspense." If someone says "I've got a great idea" and then pauses to create suspense, that's a power-move. They want you to beg them to continue. The alpha counter-move in this case is simple. Use the suspense-monger's suspense against them: say absolutely nothing.* *This move should never, ever be applied in the boudoir.

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

"Now we have all your arrows!"

"Our marriage counselor would be so proud of us now."

The invisible hand of the marketplace.

'I need $50.' - '$40? What do you need $30 for?'

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'I wish my wife would stop playing mind games with me. I'm tired of losing.'