Meeting Strategist T-Shirts

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

'Yes, I said we needed to talk - but I certainly didn't mean face-to-face.'

Executive puts on a 'brave face' prior to attending a board meeting.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'The old smoke filled room was unhealthy, but the pizza filled isn't much of an improvement.'

This stuff fixes things at home, why not here?

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."