Meeting Tactician Gifts

The not-so-fine art of changing the subject.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

US and the EU

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Takeovers.

Genius

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

Carlo Ancelotti

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

"That was a rumor day."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."