Office Tactician T-Shirts

Genius

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

'It's difficult for me to say ‘I was wrong,' and if I fire you, I won't have to.'

'I hate making you feel guilty, but I've had great success with it in the past.'

'O.K. you've made your point - take an extra 1/2 hour for lunch.'

"During our busy season it's almost impossible to keep track of all the cover-ups I'm involved in."

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

'Careful. You still have that new-employee smell.'

CEO.

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

'How are you at looking guilty? - We need to hire a scapegoat.'

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"Thompson gets great results, despite his lack of people skills."

Office Terrorism As Self-Help

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Takeovers.

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Carlo Ancelotti

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."